Maintaining 43 in the Single Lane

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Want Versus Need: Debunking The Myth of a Dilemma

Greta Garbo was ahead of her time.

The infamous quote, I want to be alone, uttered by the silver screen siren may have been the angst of an eccentric ballerina, but today's single woman has options. Like slipping into the co-starring role of a marriage, or headfirst into executive heels - or both - based merely on her desires.

CUT! Is any relationship, casual or committed, better than none? Please; I canceled that subscription to insanity about a year-and-a-half ago. I want the companionship found within a relationship, but as a writer I also need solitude to draft my work. This request for space has been misconstrued to the point of labeling me distant. That is the farthest thing from the truth; I happen to be one who is comfortable in my oneness, whereas ex-boyfriends sought mandatory audiences whenever and wherever they could find them: from dinner parties at our place, to group outings for events (front row, of course). And while I enjoyed the vibrancy of our social life, I am that rare species of a social butterfly that loses no brilliance if not fluttering at every single event...

At the end of the day, does the single woman need a relationship to validate her worthiness, or does she want peace within her world, knowing she is completely functional in her current status? And can she have it all, if need be?

This holiday season, I challenge all single women to this task; ask for what you want. Whether it is a relationship, or that Prada handbag whose price is equivalent to one month's rent, just remember to be specific. Especially in the lights, camera, and action of the holidays, be careful what you wish for. No one wants to echo the angst of Miss Garbo.


At 3:10 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Interesting post! I found your blog through the Stiletto Club--I'm so glad I checked it out!

I love that you've debunked this myth! Especially the whole, "I can only have what I want if I'm on my own, because relationships mean sacrifice..." bit. Some relationships require gut-wrenching changes and abandonded dreams, but only because we're to stubborn to admit, "If it's this hard, he's probably not the one."

Or maybe that was just me, and no other women have ever done that :)


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