Maintaining 43 in the Single Lane

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Interview With Author Mimi Jefferson

TWHS: First, I'd like to thank you for bringing attention to a topic that is robbing single women of their souls. What inspired you to write The Single Sister Experiment?

Jefferson: I was at dinner with a (platonic) male friend six years ago. During the course of the dinner, his cell phone was ringing off the hook with different females. After one particular call, he hung up laughing and stated, "You women have no idea what power you have. This last girl who called - who I haven't spoken to in months - would be so easy to get intimate with again. A couple of calls to her would be all it would take to get close to her."

I went home and thought; what if single women did choose to utilize the powers of their spirit instead of their desires? How they would be so much more powerful!

TWHS: Amazing. The cell phone must be the universal bullhorn for men's egos; I have been witness to the same erratic calls to a male friend's cell phone, as well. What feedback have you received from men? Do they view the book as a game blocker?

Jefferson: There have been no comments whatsoever, with the exception of the older, mature men (with daughters and responsibilities).

Now what I didn't expect was finding out there are some men who are just as tired of the game-playing and who want to get married. But women are quick to say these men don't exist.

TWHS: As a single woman who has chosen a life of abstinence, I shake my head at how many view my choice as a "phase", with certain men seeing it as a challenge to to change my mind! What advice do you give the single woman straddling the fence between being obedient to God's path and the temptations of the flesh?

Jefferson: Have your values set. That's what men do; they chase. That's the natural process. I went through the process myself, and it's not easy. I was involved in a ten-year, destructive relationship with a boyfriend. For me, I found the strength to get out of it through Jesus.

TWHS: Wow, that was like a ten-year layaway!

Jefferson: (Laughing)

TWHS: Was it an abusive relationship?

Jefferson: No, more like a trapped situation that wasn't going anywhere. He didn't treat me like the Queen I was...

Women need to think about what they're giving up. It's more than just your body; you are wasting time, and blocking the path to your true potential. And even blocking the husband that God has put in your path.

But the most important advice I could give to the single woman is read the book! All three main characters are going through the test of temptation of men.

TWHS: Was there anyone in your life during those ten years telling you that you were wasting your time?

Jefferson: No; to people on the outside, it looked perfect!

TWHS: What is your next step for the book? Do you have appearances scheduled for women's groups?

Jefferson: I am working on my second book with a main character named James, Sr. It will be the male's perspective and spin-off of The Single Sister Experiment. I really want women to know how going through this process also affects men.

BTW, the man who I had the ten-year relationship with? He is now my husband of two years, and we are three months pregnant with our first child! (And no, I never used the ultimatum tactic.) Because of the pregnancy, I will be taking it easy up until February, when I will be making some local book appearances in Houston, Texas.

TWHS: Congratulations! So this book is a true testimony and loosely based on your life?

Jefferson: It is fictional, but I think almost all women can relate to the experiences involving men.

TWHS: With the title reference to sisters, do you see where you have a mix of ethnic readers?

Jefferson: I have to state it was my publishing company's decision to feature Black women on the cover of the book, not mine. At the book signings, I do see a few other ethnicities, but not many.

TWHS: Well, let me just say I use the term sister for all women who walk the path of a prosperous, elite and definitive lifestyle. Having said that, I recommend this book to ALL single women who are tired of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. In this case, it's compromising your temple to those who are not worthy.

How would you like your book to make a difference in the lives of women?

Jefferson: I wish I could reach the teenage sector. I have been part of library presentations,and the girls present were totally turned off by the message in the book.

TWHS: Are you serious? What ages are we talking about?

Jefferson: Between 13-17 years old. It's like the influence of videos and today's culture tells them that's the only way to be. I wish I could have gotten to them when they were at the age nine...

TWHS: Well, Mimi, if there is anything I can do to help you get the message out; I see where we need to make a collective, stillettoed noise.

Jefferson: Be sure to let single women know that if they make the choice to walk the life of abstinence, they will not be alone; they can join The Single Sister Experiment Online Group, where women help one another get through this life-changing transition.


At 9:18 AM, Blogger BizyLizy said...

I really enjoyed reading this interview. I am currently in a difficult situation I find difficult to let go. A man, go figure.

Thank you for this.

Looking for the book, now...

At 9:34 PM, Blogger styleandsubstance said...


I hope you have found the strength and courage to let it (the relationship) go.

Speaking from experience, you will be stronger for it!


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